the state of the novel
Hey, so…Writing is hard. Did you realize that? Because I seem to forget this every so often, and then I try to get back into writing, and then I remember and I give up again. That’s been the past five months for me. A lot of starting and stopping, which results in a rather sad 14,000 words, give or take a few hundred.
I’ve never really been a finisher. I have the start to dozens of stories, and they’re all rather decent starts. I’ve got notes for world-building, character traits, all sorts of research. But no ends. I’ve been trying to figure out why it is that I can start so easily but endings elude me. I think part of it has to do with my lack of focus; I get distracted incredibly easily, and thus I get bored and want to move on if I stick with a story for too long. That’s not to say that my stories probably aren’t worth putting forth the effort if I can’t even hang with them as the author. I just really suck at follow-through.
Another reason dawned on me fairly recently, and I think it might be the reason that drives my non-finishing most of all with this story and another I’ve got in the works. I am terrified–petrified, even–of sharing my work with strangers. It’s completely anti-everything I want to do, but I just don’t know how to possibly let people I don’t know read my work and judge it accordingly. This is something I need to get over, because I definitely want to share my work, and I definitely want to, y’know, make money from it, but I can’t if I don’t finish anything. So how the hell do I finish? How the hell do you finish? I’m eternally in awe of authors that start and finish so easily. I want that. I’m totally going to have that.
In the meantime, I’ll just continue procrastinating writing by cutting my hair. Because that’ll totally help my word count, don’tcha know.